Tuesday, February 21, 2012

In the interests of trying to write every day:

1. I love my new printer. It's small, dinky, and I can hear it wheeze every page out as though a hamster was applying the ink, but I can print out anything I want anytime I want and that is wonderful. No more stealing printing from work. I am a fairly adept thief when I want to be but it hurts my heart to do so.

2. Working independently is hard, which anyone could have told me beforehand, and many did. I think that the hardest part so far has been struggling with procrastination tendencies and actually working during the day so that I am not crazed and over-caffeinated at three in the morning. The most irritating thing so far has been the endless bureaucracy, and the most nerve-wracking part has been waiting to see if enough work comes in. Am I going to make rent this month? Can I juggle my finances with enough finesse to make this work? I have never felt so in touch with what I spend and what I make, and that has actually been deeply satisfying. I'm making my own way in the world. Whether I fly or fall comes down to my own ingenuity, hard work, stick-to-itiveness and natural luck. And while I am worried, I genuinely believe that I can make a go of it. Being at that place of believing in my own capabilities in a fundamental way is not something I take for granted, and I can't help but look at the long distance I've come to get here. Not simple in the slightest.

Tomorrow I'll go fight bureaucracy some more and finally finish that translation I've been putting off. Right now, my muscles are telling me to lie down and read about gardening in bed for a while.